"You need to think twice"? Maybe you need not

I had to write about this because these words I hear everywhere make me mad.

If you've ever thought about the choice of going to grad school, or even if you've never thought about it, you might have heard from professors or graduate students that you need to think twice before coming here. Back when I was an undergrad at UT, one professor told our whole class that he'd reject a hundred times before accepting any grad students for their own sake if he could. It is true that academic job market prospects are getting gloomier than ever (worse actually - if you do Humanities or some areas in Social Sciences), and I can't even tell if I won't end up unemployed with all these shiny degrees. If you are the kind of student who is overly invested in your academic work and fortunate enough not to worry about anything else, this must have been the biggest society you have ever belonged to, so these words might actually be worth seriously taken before you become so sure about your decision. You think you know well about this world while you don't know much about the world outside school, how your life would actually look like if you choose this or that - these are the words I have been told by so many people countless times, and I do not completely disagree despite I abhor their ignorance onto the unintended consequences of their “advice”. And being a college student and being a grad student or a scholar are VERY different, which I think cannot be overemphasized.

I once left academia and returned. "There were many reasons to leave" is, I think in my case, quite inaccurate. All I had were reasons to leave. Now that I’ve returned, I still have more reasons to leave than to stay if I were to count them. And yet, I refuse to take these words of concern seriously. I refuse to spread these words to anyone and everyone who is thinking of pursuing an academic career. This is neither because other career options are more likely to guarantee you higher stability nor because from my own experience I know some other options can be just as bad or worse in many ways due to a declining economy or a toxic workplace culture.

I am refusing to spread these words to anyone and everyone because I know they are particularly influential only to a certain group of young people, including those who cannot take risks because their hands are full and tied with responsibilities and expectations (often economic and familial); those who have got no one among their close beings who understands what they are exactly doing in school when others around that age seem to be working in a more proper job that makes more sense; those who are rarely given a second chance in their life; and those who think they possess fewer skills and qualities than necessary to survive in this harsh environment of academia.

Granted, knowing how hard and bumpy the road will be is important. But no, I don’t think they are the ones who need to think twice. We, as a part of this very closed gatekeeping community, are the ones who must think twice about who will be most afraid in the face of this difficult prospects. They might know even better than you that the road will be exhaustingly long and bumpy, which is probably why they take this advice seriously, whereas most of us didn't take it seriously enough to leave academia. Those who don't think twice won't think twice, regardless of what you say. They would find this choice so effortlessly natural, and quite unfairly, the easier they take it, the smoother the road will be, just as they expected. Why? Because they know from the start that it is still viable, even though there is a long and bumpy road ahead. They may even have family members in many cases who have taken this path ahead of them and seen from close proximity how their life actually looks. So, "think twice because it will be different from what you expect it to be" won't discourage them. They'll simply think to themselves, ‘well, I think I already know how different it can be.’

I once wrote a comment on a post in an online community of Korean women scholars who are active overseas, in response to someone’s question on the key to surviving in academia. I wrote: not the smartest or with extraordinary skills, but those who stay survive. After getting so many likes and reactions from those who were in that community, from PhD students to tenured professors, I realized maybe we all knew the rule of this game at some point. I have seen quite a few young scholars with great potential 'abandon' their academic careers — which is also a great and courageous decision to make if they find themselves happier that way — not because they are incompetent, obviously, but because they just chose to leave for many different reasons. The insecurity of this job in nature undermines an individual's ability to plan their future, and it’s highly likely that those who can bear with this high level of insecurity are those with access to social resources that can alleviate it in some way. These resources include not only financial support but also human resources that provide some more diverse pictures of what you should expect.

There is no easy way, but I am NOT saying whatever choice you make, it will be equally hard for you. There must be a better choice for you, but that better choice wouldn't necessarily be an ‘easy’ choice.

You don't need to think twice if you have already given a million second thoughts on this. You’ll know better than anyone, so that is probably why you are so cautious about making this decision. It is not you but them — us — who need to think twice before warning anyone and are obliged to put forth our best effort to address this structurally throughout our careers. It is such a shame that many of us turn a blind eye to this. If I could go back in time and advise myself, I would just tell her my best knowledge on how to navigate this path with limited resources.